accidents happen...

So, something I've learned lately, is that sometimes, you really have no control.  Sometimes accidents happen, and there is nothing we can do about it.  The point is, when those accidents happen, you deal with it, bandage it up, and move on, better and braver than you were before.  We can't always stop everything bad from happening, but we can choose to not inflict anything bad on ourselves intentionally.  We get upset with every little accident, but it doesn't bother us in the slightest when we cause harm to ourselves.  Why is that?

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.1

You can be my anti-drug, and I can be your verb. Together lets be actions words!

So today, as we look in the mirrors, the goal is to think about someone besides ourselves.  Take a moment, as you look at your face, and think of who gives you a reason to get better.  Who do you want to heal for, besides you?  As I look at me today, I think of my little daughter.  I think, when she's ten years old, I don't want her to start picking her face, or arms.  I don't want her to say, "mommy, why is there always an owie on your face?"  Today I am going to let my love for her motivate me to be better.  Think of a person that you would do anything for, and do it for them.  Sometimes just doing something for yourself doesn't hit home hard enough.   Think of a person you care enough for, that it would break your heart if they cried for you, and then don't let them.

liquid bandaids....what I need is liquid courage

So I've been thinking lately, I'm afraid to kick my problem.  I feel like I have slowly begun to define myself by it.  I'm just that picking girl, the one with the scars.  I think I'm afraid of who I will be without it.  What is it like to just be beautiful without bandaids? What will I do instead? How will I fill these countless hours that for over a decade, have been spent picking, and scratching at myself? How do I start from scratch?

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.1

I get by with a little help from my friends....DAY FIVE

Maria Mills.....my amazing cousin in-law, I just want to say thank you for encouraging me the other day.  You have no idea what your kind words meant to me.  If you can, please keep up with it! Sometimes just a simple little message can make a world of difference, just knowing that someone believes in me, makes me suddenly believe in myself. 

Today I want you to think about someone besides you.  Take a day and stop thinking about you, your picking, or any of your other problems.  I want you to stop and encourage someone.  It doesn't need to be someone you know really well, it could just be a random stranger at the local K-Mart.  Just stop, and say something encouraging to them, show them God loves them, and so do you. You will be surprised how much of an impact it will have.


And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
-Hebrews 10: 24-25  

Some strange kind of motivation

So I can't help but notice that when I haven't blogged in a while, I sort of lose my focus.  It's almost as though blogging gets stuff off my chest.  Stuff that weighs heavy, though it's undefined, still clutters up all the tiny places in my mind.  This week I've learned something valuable...terrifying though it may seem, I plan to use it to change me.  I am completely out of control.  The harder I try, the less I succeed.  It's almost like I'm fighting against myself.  I want so bad to feel better, to look better, to be better, but despite my efforts, I just can't overcome it.  A friend of mine related it to quitting cigarettes.  You have to really want it.  Well that's all fine and good, because I want it, I can feel myself wanting it, deep in the pit of my gut, but it's not seeming to work.  I could use some encouragement this week.   I wish I had all the time in the world, because if I did, I would spend it on my knees in prayer, and petition, for healing, for grace.  For forgiveness.  I think we all have little triggers, tiny little things that set us into a downward spiral.  This week, I've come face to face with mine.  Little old me against Goliath, and Goliath is in the lead.  So here goes nothing....let's get the stone and sling.

DAY FOUR

So today I did something I don't usually do.  I know, I know, it's crazy, but I went to the doctor.  I told her that I need a psych referral.  I finally decided to ask for help.  I've tried so many things, different tactics, tricks, and remedies, but nothing is working.  I decided to ask for help.  There is nothing wrong with asking for help, people.  Honestly, sometimes when you are at your lowest is when you are your strongest. So today, when you think you can't do this alone, when you've finally found that you're not strong enough to fix yourself, take a second, and ask for help.  No one will think any less of you if you do.  Remember, God will bless the humble and weak in spirit. Oh, and by the way, that means you, too.